The 21st-century 20-something

Monday, December 16, 2013

The Boy Band Evolution

I am a proud product of the '90s.

I know the entire Fresh Prince rap by heart, I listened to music on a Walkman not an Ipod, I had a tamagotchi instead of a real pet, and still own about 100 VHS tapes because in my day, you watched movies on VCRs. And the orange Nickelodeon movies were always the best.

I also lived and died for the original pop boy bands like *NSYNC, the Backstreet Boys, New Kids on the Block and Hanson. I very vividly remember buying every copy of Tiger Beat and immediately going to the centerfold, carefully pulling the staples from the poster, and putting it up on my bedroom walls.

Photo courtesy of

As I watched SNL this weekend with host Paul Rudd and musical guests One Direction, I had a sad realization that girls my age got duped.

We actually thought red hair and a brunette goatee were acceptable? Not to mention Justin's bleach blond curls and Chris - where do I even start with Chris?

Now I know that it was a different time, when the style was different and music was not as accessible on as many platforms, but when I look at the boy bands now-a-days, I can't help but feel gypped.

I don't mean to be a traitor to my generation, but let's be serious - look at these boys in the new boy bands:

Photo courtesy of
We got screwed, ladies. 

These boys are so frickin' cute. And they have British accents.

Everyone always had their 'favorite' member in the '90s boy bands. Our mothers were the Joey or Chris fans, our gay best friends just loved Lance - and most girls were either Team Justin or Team JC. I was a Justin girl from the beginning, and still am - #noshame. 

Other girls were Team Brian or Team Nick when it came to the Backstreet Boys, but Kevin and A.J. were like 30 when the band started - and looked it.

But in One Direction, hell you don't even have to have a favorite. They're all unfairly good-looking, have tattoos (which let's face it, are always more attractive) and did I mention the British accents?

Yes, the music is just as terrible. It's still typical teen boys singing about broken hearts and love even though they've barely hit puberty, and the songs certainly won't stand the test of time, but at the risk of sounding too shallow, let's face it - the boy bands are just far more attractive now.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has noticed this and feels a bit envious of every 12-year-old girl out there who falls asleep staring at One Direction posters instead of this:
Photo courtesy of

I'm going to go wallow in my resentment and listen to 'That's What Makes You Beautiful' on repeat.


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