The 21st-century 20-something

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Judgmental woman 'fat-shames' kids on Halloween

Here we go again.

What is with all the 'fat-shaming' lately?

There have always been disapproving glares, quiet whispers and straight-up rude name-callers making overweight people feel uncomfortable, but when it comes to kids, that's just wrong.

Photo courtesy of
Especially when people hide gross judgement behind the guise of 'concern' or 'the child's best interest', like this woman from North Dakota planning to hand out this 'fat letter' to poor, unsuspecting children tonight.

The most offensive part of the letter reads:

"You [sic] child is, in my opinion, moderately obese and should not be consuming sugar and treats to the extent of some children this Halloween season. My hope is that you will step up as a parent and ration candy this Halloween and not allow your child to continue these unhealthy eating habits."

I know what you're thinking - this is a joke, right?

Unfortunately, I have to say this jerk cold-hearted, judgmental woman really does exist.

While Halloween certainly isn't the healthiest of holidays, it's one day a year. If you want to go on a crusade to end childhood obesity, do it on your own time. Don't suck the fun out of one of kids' favorite holidays of the year. If she was really concerned, I could see handing out healthier treats or even none at all if she feels this strongly, but she has chosen to take perhaps the most ineffective approach I could have imagined.

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Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Why chivalry is dead, from a woman's perspective

A seemingly nice guy name John Picciuto wrote what started out to be a great Tumblr post called 'Why Chivalry Is Dead, From A Man's Perspective.'

I began reading it, and was totally in John's corner at first. He was raised Italian, similar to myself, and learned the right way to treat women -- with respect. Something lost on most of the hair-gelled, Ed Hardy-wearing douchebags of my generation.

He was also right saying that we live in the 'hook-up' era, where sex comes before marriage and not far after 'Nice to meet you,' making actual 'dating' nearly obsolete.  

This is where the article started to go downhill for me:

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Thursday, October 24, 2013

Get out of the gray area

The gray area is something I've been in for most of my life with relationships. It's when neither person wants to make a full commitment - or there are extenuating circumstances that prevent you from delving into a full-on relationship.

In some cases, it has been my choice to remain in the gray area. I am the type of person who doesn't want to waste time, energy and emotions on something I don't see going anywhere. When I was younger and more naive, I lived by the mantra that I wouldn't date anyone I couldn't see myself marrying. Intense, I know. But my philosophy was that if you could see an end to the relationship, or encountered red flags that you didn't think you could get past, why waste your time pursuing it?

I have since made some exceptions, hence the gray area I speak of. This is when you know something probably won't work out, and maybe in your heart of hearts you don't really want it to, but something pulls you back to the person time and again. 

I have pondered several times why people end up in this state of flux, and can never come to a solid conclusion. Perhaps it's boredom, loneliness or that you really care about the person, even though you're not sure if they're the one for you. Either way, the gray area is not a fun place to be at all, and you certainly shouldn't take up permanent residence there.

Therefore, I implore any of you in this precarious position to get out of it - sooner rather than later.

Here's how to do that:

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Thursday, October 17, 2013

What's my excuse? This poster.

I wasn't going to hop and the bandwagon about this 'Hot mom fat shaming women' fiasco, but I can't resist.

Maria Kang, a 32-year-old mother of three, recently posted this photo, that has caused controversy across the nation:

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Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Is marriage outdated?

I was watching my girl Bethenny the other day, and she posed an interesting question to her panel for the day asking: "Is marriage outdated?"

SIDEBAR: You should all be watching the Bethenny show. She is hilarious and intelligent and really a true inspiration to women. #endshamelesspromotion.

Anyway, I found myself immediately offended by this question. I mean, of course marriage isn't outdated. It is a beautiful union between two souls who are making a commitment to spend the rest of their lives together! It seems to be in the formula of most people's lives. While relationships are an ever-changing phenomenon, marriage is still fairly important to most people, many who even had to fight for that very right.

But then, I really started to think about it. I don't think long-term commitment is outdated, but I think relationships are so diverse and complex, that expecting them to last forever ends up being a lot of pressure. And that very pressure sometimes does them in.

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Wednesday, October 2, 2013

What's the rush?

It's 2013 and times, they are a-changin'.

I am sufficiently sick and tired of being grilled about my life plans, and when I'm going to get
married and have babies. I feel like family, friends and even social media are putting constant pressure on today's 20-somethings to be on a certain path in life.

Nowhere is there a rule book that says you have to married with kids, be wildly successful or even have one clue what the hell you want in life yet while you're in your 20s. To expect any of that from within a certain time frame is absurd.
Photo courtesy of

I think people too often confuse taking time to figure out what you want in life, or waiting to accomplish certain goals before settling down, with avoiding 'being responsible' and growing up.

Don't get me wrong, some people are settled down by 25 with a kid or two, and that's great; that works for them. But personally, that is not a scenario that would work for me, and that's not taboo or weird or crazy. It's 100% normal.

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